Bunkum Smith attacked for trying to score cheap points on the NHS

Ian Bunkum Smith
Ian Bunkum Smith

UK – The Prince of Hell Ian Bunkum Smith has been slated by both the Prime Minister and by some hospital after he tried to gain cheap political capital by slating aforementioned hospital.

IBS had attempted to draw attention to the fact that some lady constituent had had Continue reading “Bunkum Smith attacked for trying to score cheap points on the NHS”

How do you like the Article?

Delay to trains in Norf London – not my fault, says Byers

12
Stephen Byers: Me Gov? I haven’t a clue

UK – The beleaguered transport secretary Stev-o Byers hinted that a fire at a warehouse near Ali Pali that resulted in the cancellation of most of the West Anglia line trains today was nothing to do with him. The shadow secretary for transport, a guy that nobody knows the name Continue reading “Delay to trains in Norf London – not my fault, says Byers”

How do you like the Article?

Government announces adoption plans for sinners – read as

adoption1[1]UK – In a fine example of offering lots and doing nothing (New Left – it’s the real thing) Government ministers are set to put the smile to legalisation of adoption by unmarried couples.

This rather pointless change in the law means that couple who are unmarried can adopt provided Continue reading “Government announces adoption plans for sinners – read as”

How do you like the Article?

Groundbreaking software to be re-released

Groundbreaking software to be re-released
Groundbreaking software to be re-released

UK – The piece of software that is used in the preparation of The Bastard is set to be re-released shortly for use on Unix computers. A spokes geek on behalf of the publishers, Somniferum Happy IT Oy, said that a re-release was necessary because the majority of their clients were to mean to buy Continue reading “Groundbreaking software to be re-released”

How do you like the Article?

Teachers to get pay-rise

Revolting Teachers!
Revolting Teachers!

UK – Teachers in the UK are set to get a pay rise of a wapping (same as wopping but on a Cell Phone) 3%. It may not sound much, but it is vastly more than the sadistic evil scumbags. After all, they say that if you can remember a good teacher it is because they are so fucking rare – teaching is an industry that attracts sadists and hitler’s like Continue reading “Teachers to get pay-rise”

How do you like the Article?

Ethnic Cleansing in Afghanistan – the world need never know

8
More death and devastation in Afghanistan

Afghanistan – Thank goodness! No more terrorism! Okay, so we haven’t caught Bin Laden yet, probably never will (his CIA trainers trained him too well for that), and Pakistan has the explosive mix of nuclear weapons and two million Afghan refugees, but at least Bush managed to Continue reading “Ethnic Cleansing in Afghanistan – the world need never know”

How do you like the Article?

Messiah to sue Heavenly Father

jesus Christ quite rightly claims that this is no way for a loving Father to treat his only Son.
Jesus Christ quite rightly claims that this is no way for a loving Father to treat his only Son.

In a landmark legal case, the notorious Son of Man and Messiah is to sue his boss in the European Courts for failure to provide a safe work environment.

In a press statement, our saviour explained that he felt that his employer could have done more to prevent his sufferings on the cross, and that the ‘excuse’ of his Continue reading “Messiah to sue Heavenly Father”

How do you like the Article?

Blair: Bin Laden is a muthafukker, and so are his mates

al Qaida leader  Osama Bin Laden speaks to a selected group of reporters in mountains of Helmand province in southern Afghanistan Thursday, Dec. 24, 1998.  The man accused of masterminding the bombings of U.S. embassies in Africa says the U.S.-British airstrikes on Iraq make it a ``duty of Muslims to confront, fight and kill'' Americans and Britons.
al Qaida leader Osama Bin Laden in southern Afghanistan.

UK – Responding to allegations that Bush was treating the Arabic bounders unfairly which have appeared in numerous newspapers and media (including this one), the British President Tony Blair replied that Osama Bin Laden was a complete muthafukka, and so were all of his mates. The scoundrels Continue reading “Blair: Bin Laden is a muthafukker, and so are his mates”

How do you like the Article?

Frodo Baggins said to be ‘outraged’ at FOTR portrayal

5US –  Frodo Baggins, the hobbit who saved Middle Earth from a tide of darkness and evil, is said to be outraged by the portrayal of himself and his friends Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took. “The film portrays me as being a right pussy” said the outraged halfling, “and Messrs. Brandybuck and Took as a pair of crooks. As if to balance this out, it implies that Arwen, who in real life did sod all, is some kind of heroin!”

Despite these criticisms, the film has gone on to be a major success. Smeagol Richardson, the script writer of the blockbuster, was said to be delighted at the success of the film. He had consulted as many of the original cast as he was able to, and the majority, including Peregrin Took, had been quite happy with the way that they were portrayed. The nine Nazgul had even agreed to appear in the movie, and can be seen in cameo roles in Bree and Minas Tirith.

How do you like the Article?

Charles ‘Chuck’ Kennedy to be wed

UK – 4The Leader of the Liberal Democrats, Mr Charles Kennedy, has announced that he has managed to persuade someone to marry him.

His bird, who no-one can remember the name of, is said to be ‘not interested in politics’.

The two met at a joint-smoking session at some hippy festival last year. His fiancee is said to find his ex-military career extremely alluring

How do you like the Article?