Bong! Michael Phelps is a pot head!

Michael Phelps and his Olympic sized Bong
Michael Phelps and his Olympic sized Bong

Michael Phelps the greatest Olympian of our generation, a man who wins gold medals and smashes world records in his sleep… is a pothead!!! Oh yeah when Michael Phelps is busy splashing around a swimming pool he likes too kick back and smoke a bong.

Last year we all told how much he eats and now we know it’s no training diet… he’s got the munchies. I bet he can look forward to a special sponsorship deal with Mars

His sponsors and etc might be uneasy that’s come out that he is a pothead but I am pleased and the reason that I am pleased is it proves not all potheads are total losers. Yes it proves that you can be very successful and kick back and smoke a number, yeah not everybody who smokes spliff is a fucking bum.

In fact most drug users are middle class, yes Mr and Mrs Middle Class Little Englander you like paint potheads as dangerous deviants but I am sure when you get home tonight you will have a generous whiskey or gin and tonic. But hey that’s okay because government has granted safe.

You know what’s irony Phelps is getting scolded for being pictured for smoking a bong, but if he was photographed shrinking whiskey or eating a cheeseburger both which have been proven to be unhealthy yet on the whole Mr and Mrs Middle Class Little Englander would not bitch.

Oh but of course I do not have children so I do not understand how their little treasure might be influence. Oh the little treasure who your annoyed you have to look after… yeah on another story parents have been bitching about the government not doing enough to keep schools open with all the snow etc.

You’d think parents would be overjoyed to spend more time with their ‘little treasures’ but oh no government should be doing more too off load parents from what they are responsible for creating. Hey those same parents would be the first to sue if their ‘little treasure’ slipped over on the ice and broke their neck!

Ziggy Encaoua

The Bastard Says: You can’t exactly call pot a performance ‘enhancing’ Drug can you?

Still I wonder how fast he would go if he was not stoned out of his box all the time?

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Author: Ziggy Encaoua

Former Editor of the Bastard, who was killed in a tragic accident by Japanese whalers who mistook him for a minke whale when he fell overboard in the south pacific.

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