England World Cup Jokes 2010

You give £2-00 a month to feed the poor in Africa and what do they do with it?

Buy a fucking Trumpet!


A man goes to a brothel and says, ” I have £40-00 will you humiliate me please.”

The Madam replies, “Here put on this England shirt!”


If you are driving between the hours of 3 and 5 PM then feel free to park anywhere you like…

Nigeria are playing so the Traffic Wardens will be at home.


Do You think that it is too early to ask Nelson Mandela what he is doing with his granddaughter’s world cup final ticket?


Teacher to class, “What does your Dad do at the Weekends?”

A little boy replies, ” He is a dancer at a Gay club, and sometimes, if the money’s right, he lets punters pan his arse.

The teacher takes the kid outside, “Is that True?”

“No Miss, It’s bollocks. He is the goalkeeper for England, but I am too embarrassed to say.”


The England team went to visit an orphanage in South Africa this morning.

“It’s good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible.” Said Jamal Umboto aged 6


The England game will be moved to the Gay Adult TV channel next week as the screening of eleven arse holes being hammered for 90 minutes is considered too explicit for ITV


My girlfriend came home early last night and nearly caught me looking at the England game. Luckily I managed to put porn on and get my cock out in time to save any embarrassment.


Oxo are bringing out a new qube with white foil and a red cross on it. It crumbles under pressure and will be called laughing stock.


SKY SPORTS BREAKING NEWS:!!! It has been announced that next year’s shirt sponsor for ENGLAND will be TAMPAX.

A spokesman said, ” To sponsor a load of cunts going through a bad period is exactly what our company is all about.”


Fabio Capello: “It is OK for the England Team to be nervous. Lots of people get nervous on flights!”


A Friend of mine has a ticket to see the England World cup Squad on Monday. He is going to Heathrow.

How do you like the Article?

Author: Dr Suusi Watson

Editor of the Bastard

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *