The Secret Diary of Iain Dummkopf Schmitt aged 8 and 1/4 years old

An Illustration from IDS's diary
An Illustration from IDS’s diary

It has been a bad week for me this week. My pet rat Enoch escaped from his cage. It was horrible, I found his body in the garden ripped in half.

The horrid cat next door had caught him in the garden. I watched the cat play with Enoch for 20 minutes before it got board and ripped him into two soggy pieces joined by bloody Continue reading “The Secret Diary of Iain Dummkopf Schmitt aged 8 and 1/4 years old”

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One Nation Tories launch a fund to build a Memorial to Margaret Thatcher.

The Thatcher memorial urinals.
The Thatcher memorial urinals.

UK – In Yet another The Bastard Exclusive, we have discovered that One nation and Scottish Conservatives are to launch a public subscription to pay for a fitting Memorial to the former Conservative Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. One of such standing and dignity that people will be able to express their true Continue reading “One Nation Tories launch a fund to build a Memorial to Margaret Thatcher.”

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The Secret Diary of Iain Dummkopf Schmitt aged 8 and 1/4 years: Intro

The Young Iain Dummkopf Schmitt
The Young Iain Dummkopf Schmitt

The secret Diary of Iain Dummkopf Schmitt aged 8 and a 1/4 was handed to the Bastard anonymously for publication if we felt that it was in the public interest.

What we read in-between those battered covers of the diary shocked us to the core. It was packed from end to end with a catalogue of animal torture cruelty and casual sadism the likes of which would befit a Val McDermid or Thomas Harris novel. Continue reading “The Secret Diary of Iain Dummkopf Schmitt aged 8 and 1/4 years: Intro”

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The Phoenix of Qattara – Reclaiming the deserts.

The Qattara depression
The Qattara depression

Egypt – To most westerners any mention of the Qattara depression take their minds off to the heady days of autumn 1942 and the defeat of Field Marshal Erwin Rommel’s Afrika Korps at the second battle of El Alamein. Which took place over a 50 kilometre front between the Continue reading “The Phoenix of Qattara – Reclaiming the deserts.”

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ALL COPPERS ARE BASTARDS – a closer investigation

3018I realize most of you do not share my habit of reading the Daily Mail Nazi when I think nobody’s looking, but events at the recent G8 summit made interesting reading. Since the Public Order Act of 1986, it has been illegal to hold any sort of political protest Continue reading “ALL COPPERS ARE BASTARDS – a closer investigation”

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Post Work Program Pogrom Blues – Part 4

3023UK – I have been a little quiet for the last week, because I have been on the pogrom for a week now. So what is it like then I hear you ask?

I have to admit that I started the week with a certain amount of trepidation. A toxic mix of draconian threats, and demands for diverse personal paperwork again backed up by draconian threats. Did not bode well for the future. Continue reading “Post Work Program Pogrom Blues – Part 4”

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Azelle Rodney: Shot because he had Big Lips and Curly hair

Azelle Rodney
Azelle Rodney

UK – An official inquiry into the death of 24 year old Azelle Rodney, by the retired high court judge Sir Christopher Holland, has concluded that marksman E7’s claim that he feared that Rodney had picked up a gun, just was not true. He concluded that E7 had shot him because he was Continue reading “Azelle Rodney: Shot because he had Big Lips and Curly hair”

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