The Secret Diary of Iain Dummkopf Schmitt aged 8 and 1/4 years: Intro

The Young Iain Dummkopf Schmitt
The Young Iain Dummkopf Schmitt

The secret Diary of Iain Dummkopf Schmitt aged 8 and a 1/4 was handed to the Bastard anonymously for publication if we felt that it was in the public interest.

What we read in-between those battered covers of the diary shocked us to the core. It was packed from end to end with a catalogue of animal torture cruelty and casual sadism the likes of which would befit a Val McDermid or Thomas Harris novel.

It is well known that psychopaths and socio-paths start their career of evil by practising on Animals. Starting with the neighbours pets, then casting out further and further to find new victims to experiment on.

In his work at the DWP Iain Dummkopf Schmitt has displayed a marked lack of empathy for the well being of the people in his care. He has also displayed a complete lack of interest in the outcomes of the changes to existing policies and how it affects claimants.

We at the Bastard feel that it is imperative that we publish Iain Dummkopf Schmitt’s secret diary aged 8 and a 1/4 in order to warn the public at large just what sort of man Iain Duncan Smith really is.

We must add that this is a satire of Iain Dummkopf Schmitt, but then he has displayed psychopathic, and at the very least sociopathic behaviour since his first days in office, so it may just be the tip of a very nasty iceberg.

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Author: Dr Suusi Watson

Editor of the Bastard

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