One Nation Tories launch a fund to build a Memorial to Margaret Thatcher.

The Thatcher memorial urinals.
The Thatcher memorial urinals.

UK – In Yet another The Bastard Exclusive, we have discovered that One nation and Scottish Conservatives are to launch a public subscription to pay for a fitting Memorial to the former Conservative Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. One of such standing and dignity that people will be able to express their true feelings towards her and to be able to thank her for what she did to the economy whilst she was in Power.

The fund hopes to raise £1-50 million to cover the cost of building a shrine to her and to connect the public utilities so that the public would be able to visit the shrine 24 hours a day.

Should the public subscription raise more than the £1.5 million it is proposed that the balance is invested in stocks and shares. Any income accruing from the stocks and shares be used to pay for the maintenance of the shrine, and public utility bills.

As one leading one nation conservative put it, “It is vitally important that we do not add to the already heavy burden that is imposed on the hard pressed Council Taxpayers.”

Initial plans for the shrine to based on a Greco-Roman design surrounded by white marble Corinthian columns. There are to be two entrances, one for Men and the Other for women to prevent any disrespectful behaviour. In the womens side there will be 6 individual cubicles for the private contemplation and appreciation of Mrs Thatcher’s life works.

On the men’s side there will be only 4 private cubicles, with a communal standing position.

The floor of both the women’s and the men’s aria is to be made of glass of a high optical quality. A statue of Mrs Thatcher’s lying in state is to be placed under the glass floor, so that people in each side of the shrine can see people’s appreciation of the great woman in real time.

Contracts for the ceramic goods required have been put out to a selection of leading manufacturers including Crapper and Co and Twyford’s

How do you like the Article?

Author: Dr Suusi Watson

Editor of the Bastard

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *