Liberal Democrat Jokes

Have you heard the one about the guy who phoned the Liberal Democrats just after they went into coalition with the Tories.

“I’d like a copy of your manifesto,” he says to the receptionist.

“I am very terribly, sir, but we’ve sold out.”

“Everyone knows that!” the guy bellows. “But I would still like a copy of your manifesto!”

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British PM and foreign secretary behind Syria Gas Attack

David Cameron and Little Willy Hague
David Cameron and Little Willy Hague

UK – Wednesdays poison gas attack on the Damascus suburbs of Ain Tarma, Zamalka and Jobar that is claimed to have killed up to 1400 men women and children is undoubtedly a serious war crime.

When news broke the US puppet Continue reading “British PM and foreign secretary behind Syria Gas Attack”

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Unemployment

UK – As an unemployed person. Part of the problem is that Job centres and the work program and the new deal before it require you to apply for a certain number of jobs. No matter how unsuitable you are for that type of work.

As the lady said it is just box ticking. Both The LibCons and Labour are fooling the public into thinking that they are doing something about unemployment. Continue reading “Unemployment”

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Last Scottish Tory Dies! A Nation Celebrates!

Scots celebrating the death of the last Scottish Tory
Scots celebrating the death of the last Scottish Tory

Scotland – Last night Scotland achieved a significant step forward in its quest for political maturity. At 01:32 Mrs Margaret McSwine, of Low town Edinburgh, passed away aged 109. The significance of the event is that she is the last remaining member of the Scottish Conservative party. Continue reading “Last Scottish Tory Dies! A Nation Celebrates!”

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The Secret Diary of Iain Dummkopf Schmitt aged 8 and 1/4 years old: 12 August 1962

Mein Kampf IDS's guide for life.
Mein Kampf IDS’s guide for life.

UK – I am board. Board. Board. My parents have gone to Scotland for the week, leaving me on my own to look after the house, as a punishment for having had such a bad school report.

On Monday I repaired my catapult. It needed the rubber Continue reading “The Secret Diary of Iain Dummkopf Schmitt aged 8 and 1/4 years old: 12 August 1962”

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Ian Brady threatens to sue the Bastard for Deformation!

Separated at birth Ian Brady and Iain Duncan Smith
Separated at birth Ian Brady and Iain Duncan Smith

UK – In a bizarre twist we at the Bastard have received a letter from ‘Swindle, Underhand and Crook’ solicitors. Threatening legal action against the Bastard for defamation of the good name of Ian Brady, resident of Ashworth Hospital, Merseyside.

The letter alleges that in our article separated at birth, where Continue reading “Ian Brady threatens to sue the Bastard for Deformation!”

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The Secret Diary of Iain Dummkopf Schmitt aged 8 and 1/4 years old: 5 August 1962

A illustration from IDS's secret diary.
A illustration from IDS’s secret diary.

It has been a an odd week for me this week. Things started off badly when my parents found my school report. My bum is still sore from the beating that I got from dad for not having go an good reports from my teachers at school.

The teachers keep writing Iain tries hard, and fails. The worst report was from the blind head master, who recommended that my parents forget about putting me forward to Wellington or Harrow. Rather that they should send me to Sea as a Continue reading “The Secret Diary of Iain Dummkopf Schmitt aged 8 and 1/4 years old: 5 August 1962”

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Alcoholic Theresa May is Type 1 Diabetes shock!

Fancy a drink Theresa?
Fancy a drink Theresa?

UK – In another shock revaluation Home Secretary and alleged Alcoholic, Theresa May has announced that she has developed Type 1 diabetes.

Whilst it has long been known that Theresa May as found the stresses and responsibilities of being Continue reading “Alcoholic Theresa May is Type 1 Diabetes shock!”

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