DWP and Lloyd’s to re-open Slave trading forum.

The DWP's preferred design for the slaves dormitory's personally approved by Iain Duncan Smith.
The DWP’s preferred design for the slaves dormitory’s personally approved by Iain Duncan Smith.

The City – Coming hot on the heels of news that the police have found that three people have been held as slaves by a retired couple in south London, Lloyd’s has re-opened is doors to the slave trade after a break of 206 years.

The trading of slaves will be done on behalf of the DWP, and their labour sold to Britain’s leading supermarkets at a discounted rate, below the legal minimum wage.

Of particular interest to employers will be the Graduate slaves. Big companies will be able to buy the Student debt from the government, and the Graduate will have to work for the company until that debt is worked off plus interest.

Companies taking on large numbers of slaves will be encouraged to keep them in dormitory’s like the ones that they have at public schools, but without the frills. No TV so they cannot waste time talking about last nights news or television programs. Baths once a week and a change of underwear on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

The DWP expects there to a big take up of the scheme.

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Author: Dr Suusi Watson

Editor of the Bastard

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