Iain Dummkopf Schmidt and the Circus Showman

Iain Dummkopf Schmidt supervising the eviction of the social housing tenants
Iain Dummkopf Schmidt supervising the eviction of the social housing tenants

UK – For a long while, the government and Iain Dummkopf Schmidt have been worried by their utter failure to get disabled people off Job Seekers Allowance (JSA) and into what they call a proper job.

Several suggestions have been taken up by the Department for work and Pensions (DWP) But as the disabled people mandated to trial these jobs often were killed at work, of more frequently ended up more disabled than before. Leaving the DWP liable to compensation claims and actions of corporate manslaughter.

With hindsight mandating the severely disabled to become white line painters on the M25, and lollypop people does seem to be utterly insane. But in these unenlightened times Ideas that get the severely disabled into a work, or as the DWP puts it gets those lazy scroungers off our backs, is worthy of investigation.

It is with that in mind the latest Idea that has come out of the well respected right wing think tank the Conservative United National Tribunal or Cunts as they are colloquially known is to help the severely disabled to earn a living in freak shows.

It is to this end that the minister with special responsibilities for the DWP Iain Dummkopf Schmidt has been holding a series of meeting with representatives of the circus industry. To see what changes to the working place and accommodation regulations need to be made in order for this to happen.

Enter Papa Lazarou. The owner of the circus made famous by the BBC radio and the TV documentary series, “The League of Gentlemen.” Lazarou is keen to expand his Pandemonium Carnival by adding a proper freak show.

He was heard to say that these days bearded ladies are two a penny. The audience really want some proper freaks! Like the Lobster family from the United States and real live mermaid.

The plans are likely to cause outrage amongst the severely disabled and their carers. But according to Iain Dummkopf Schmitt it will be a welcome step in getting the severely disabled into fulfilling and worthwhile jobs. Freeing them from a lifetime of being a burden on the state.

“Never forget.” he said, “One’s sense of self worth comes from the pride that comes with knowing that you are doing a worthwhile and rewarding job.”

“Papa Lazarou has generously offered to take some of the most difficult cases off our books for a six month trial period, with the option to extend the contract for up to a year.”

“We just need to clear a few legal hurdles and then we can go into full scale trials. Before rolling the scheme out nationwide.”

How do you like the Article?

Author: Dr Suusi Watson

Editor of the Bastard

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *