ISIL announce Pause in their Genocide during Ramadan!

Mass executions by the ISIL in Tikrit, Iraq. 11 to 14 June 2014
Mass executions by the ISIL in Tikrit, Iraq. 11 to 14 June 2014

Middle East –  With all the news coming out of the Middle East suggesting that the whole region is going to hell in a handbasket. There is one bit of good news. Admittedly it is a curious new useage of the word good, of which we were not previously aware.

A representative, Abu Mohammed al-Adnani, of the Islamic State of Iraq and Levant (ISIL) has announced that their holy warriors will be observing the Holy month of Ramadan, by only exterminating the infidels between the hours of sundown and sunrise.

“Our holy warriors will be showing their devotion to Mohammed peace be upon his name by showing restraint in the only pleasure that they have. For the duration of the holy month of Ramadan the extermination of infidels will only take place after sundown and will cease at sunrise.”

“In the interests of the purity of spirit of our Holy warriors, they will also refrain from having sex with the corpses of the dead infidels, and animals for the duration of Ramadan.”

He went on, “The practice of restraining one’s desires, makes the pleasures of slaking those desires so much greater. Our warriors will be so much more enthusiastic in their work.”

It is nice to see that religion is helping people become nicer and more civilised.

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Author: Dr Suusi Watson

Editor of the Bastard

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