Birmingham in dread of massive crime wave!

Locals are living in absolute dread at the coming influx of perverts, paedophiles, rapists, thieves, fraudsters and corporate pirates.
Locals are living in absolute dread at the coming influx of perverts, paedophiles, rapists, thieves, fraudsters and corporate pirates.

UK – It is the season of the political party conference. Next week it the turn of the ruling conservative party who are holding their annual get together and mutual masturbation at The ICC in Birmingham.

Although the Conservative party conference itself has been overshadowed by events. As if the resignation of Rochester and Strood MP Mark Reckless who became the second Tory backbencher to defect to Ukip, was not bad enough.

It was closely followed by the news that Brooks Newmark, MP for Braintree, and a personal friend of US Secretary of State John Kerry. Had stepped down as Minister for Civil Society. The married father of five had, rather unwisely, posted a picture of his penis on a website.

No doubt that the Girl guides will be immensely relieved that he has stepped down. That sort of picture is not something that anyone wants of their calender

Locals are living in absolute dread at the coming influx of perverts, paedophiles, rapists, thieves, fraudsters and corporate pirates. All holiday leave for shop security officers has been cancelled and the CCTV network cameras and video recorders cleared of any faults. So that it can meticulously record any wrong doing by the delegates.

Child protection services have even taken out injunctions against the delegates from coming within one mile of any Midlands cities children’s homes.

One senior social worker who did not wish to be identified told the Bastard, on the condition of anonymity, that it is their duty to protect the children in there care. “The last thing that these vulnerable children needed was perverted ex cabinet ministers forcing their way into the building and abusing the boys and girls in there place of safety.”

They went on, “Regardless of what happened in the past. Children’s homes are not brothels for politicians to indulge their rape and torture fantasies on innocent children.”

It is not bad news for all however. Word on the streets is that advanced bookings for Birmingham’s flesh trade are up. Especially on the more exotic end of the market.

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Author: Dr Suusi Watson

Editor of the Bastard

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