85% of US children believe that The Flintstones is real!

History for Republican Children
History for Republican Children

USA – Every so often we at The Bastard commissions a survey to assess the public mood just for the hell of it. Not just in the UK.

We keep getting worrying reports that our cosines across the pond have some really strange ideas. When we heard that a majority of Americans think that dinosaurs roamed the earth together with man a mere 4000 years ago. We had to see if it was true.

We were staggered. They actually do believe this bullshit. Together with this delusion called The Rapture where they believe that a mythical sky being is going to whip all his deluded devoted believers off to heaven without warning.

This year we commissioned a survey to check out the dinosaurs story. We were shocked to discover that it was true! It was at this point that we remembered that there was this TV cartoon called, “The Flintstones” which featured both humans and dinosaurs co-existing in a suburban setting.

We instantly hit on the idea of surveying the views of 16 year old American school children about this alleged co-existence. We asked 1000 children in each of 40 US states for their views about the Flintstones.

A clear majority (85%) replied that it was reality TV and that it actually happened.

5% said that the Flintstones was Satanic ritual abuse and the dinosaurs were devils in disguise who abused children.

The remaining 10% failed to answer our interviewers because they were too busy licking the windows at the back of the school bus.

We should not be surprised I suppose. Every American I have met has been charming. But the they all warn us that the ones back home are a bunch of retarded inbreeds.

It does not matter how many times that you hear it it still does not prepare you for the full horror of it when you meet it in reality.

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Author: Dr Suusi Watson

Editor of the Bastard

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