Katie Hopkins Disappears up Her Own Rectum!

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Katie Hopkins

UK – News just in. Katie Hopkins the British television personality and columnist has vanished up her own Rectum. The accident happened whilst she was practicing Yoga.

Hopkins first appeared on television as a contestant on the third UK series of the reality television programme The Apprentice in 2007. Since then she has become a media personality and public béte noire by being able to spout the vilest of opinions at the drop of a hat.

Some of her quotes are so bad that even the Daily Mail Nazi is embarrassed by them. Her latest being that we need Nazi style euthanasia vans to hoover up the hoards of old people that are cluttering up the country.

This morning she decided to try a new yoga position, the brown star. One that would enable her to kill two birds with one stone by allowing her to check her own cervix.

To this end she bent forward until her forehead was level with her anus. At this point she sneezed and suction took over. Sucking her head and body into her rectum until she disappeared leaving only an unpleasant odor.

With hindsight it was perhaps a trifle unwise to practice yoga in the nude. But we the long suffering british population can only be thankful that she did. Safe in the knowledge that she has gone to a place that she thoroughly belongs.

Karma really does exist.

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Author: Dr Suusi Watson

Editor of the Bastard

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