In Pakistan Terrorism is just Politics!

Many of the bomb victims were children at a funfair in the Gulshan-i-Iqbal park Lahore
Many of the bomb victims were children at a funfair in the Gulshan-i-Iqbal park Lahore

Pakistan – Once again terrorists in have have created the headlines in Pakistan. This time some of the victims are Christian women and children in a public park in Lahore.

Once again the headlines are predictable and the same old Continue reading “In Pakistan Terrorism is just Politics!”

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ECHR: de Menezes Death Squad Cover Up Legal!

Jean Charles de Menezes
Jean Charles de Menezes – murdered in an extrajudicial execution in Stockwell tube station 22 July 2007 by armed officers of the Metropolitan police.

ECHR – The British Government has finally got the verdict that they have spent years bulling the ECHR for.

The ECHR has ruled on the side of the British government on the investigation and death into the Jean Charles da Silva e de Menezes. The Brazilian man who Continue reading “ECHR: de Menezes Death Squad Cover Up Legal!”

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Hulk Hogan to spend $115 million on Penis enlargement

Terry Bollea AKA Hulk Hogan
Terry Bollea AKA Hulk Hogan

USA – A  jury in Florida has awarded Terry Bollea, known to his legion of adoring fans as Hulk Hogan, $115m (£79m) after the gossip news website Gawker published a sex tape of the retired professional wrestler.

The sex tape tape published on Gawker was one of three films Continue reading “Hulk Hogan to spend $115 million on Penis enlargement”

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Iain Dummkopf Schmitt buries the Gidiot’s chances of becoming PM!

Iain Duncan Smith cheers at the prospect of vulnerable people being killed
Iain Duncan Smith cheers at the prospect of vulnerable people being killed. He has now resigned from the cabinet over cuts to disability benefits.

UK – We at the Bastard have occaisionally underestimated people in the political world.In this case it appears that we have with Iain Dummkopf Schmitt.

Who is said by people who have worked with him in the past to be the the stupidest ex guardsman from a regiment noted for its Continue reading “Iain Dummkopf Schmitt buries the Gidiot’s chances of becoming PM!”

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Hypothermia Jack Latest

The victims wheelchair found by police in found in Swanbourne, Buckinghamshire.

UK – The latest from the Bastard’s contacts within the Police forensic laboratories is that the victim was disabled and that he had been quadriplegic from birth.

Police still have not managed to establish the victim’s identity. Continue reading “Hypothermia Jack Latest”

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468 Boris Busses to be recalled

A Boris bus
A Boris bus – 458 recalled due to a serious steering fault.

UK – The manufacturers of the New Routemaster double decker busses AKA as Boris bus have recalled due to a power steering fault.

It appears that the power steering system will only allow the driver to drive in a straight Continue reading “468 Boris Busses to be recalled”

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Hypothermia Jack claims another Homeless man!

An Artist's impression of the serial killer Hypothermic Jack
An Artist’s impression of the serial killer known to the public as Hypothermia Jack

UK – There has been another homeless person’s body found in the picturesque Cotswold village of Much Thrashing on the Marsh

Police say that the body bears all the hallmarks of another killing by the serial killer known to the police as Hypothermia Jack. Continue reading “Hypothermia Jack claims another Homeless man!”

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Kellogg’s secret Ingredient finally revealed

Kellogg's secret ingredient revealed
Kellogg’s secret ingredient revealed: Fresh Urine on draft.

USA – For years the Breakfast Cereal company Kellogg’s has been obsessively secretive about the recipes and production processes used to make their products.

This obsession dates back to the company’s founder, militant Continue reading “Kellogg’s secret Ingredient finally revealed”

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Eric Pickles blocks Durham Sewer after Tragic Accident

Fat Berg
Fat Berg: Eric Pickles blocking Durham’s sewerage system in Sunderland road.

UK – Whilst on his way to visit a community centre in Durham a tragic accident happened to Conservative MP Eric Pickles. It appears that he started feeling nauseous in the car as he was  passing through Sunderland Road, Durham, when the urge to vomit got too much for him and his driver.

The driver not wishing to be Continue reading “Eric Pickles blocks Durham Sewer after Tragic Accident”

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Government demands that the deceased return all NHS Property!

Your relative waiting for the government to harvest their body for NHS property
Your relative waiting for the government to harvest their body for NHS property

UK – In a bizarre move inspired by Iain Dummkopf Schmitt’s move yesterday to seizure of the funeral suits of the recently departed. Jeremy Hunt the health secretary and the Chancellor of the exchequer Gideon Osbourne has ordered that all NHS property is to be returned to the NHS department of finance before a death certificate can be issued. Continue reading “Government demands that the deceased return all NHS Property!”

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