Hulk Hogan to spend $115 million on Penis enlargement

Terry Bollea AKA Hulk Hogan
Terry Bollea AKA Hulk Hogan

USA – A  jury in Florida has awarded Terry Bollea, known to his legion of adoring fans as Hulk Hogan, $115m (£79m) after the gossip news website Gawker published a sex tape of the retired professional wrestler.

The sex tape tape published on Gawker was one of three films were secretly recorded in 2007 whilst he was banging Heather Cole, his best friends wife.

The first tape in just over 40-minutes long and shows Cole performing oral sex on Hogan, which lasts less than ten minutes.

The second tape is the one which was published by Gawker, and features the two having sex which lasts a little over two minutes.

The third tape also features the pair having sex, and Hogan discussing his children Brooke and Nick.

Mr Hogan’s legal team argued the New York-based website violated his privacy and the video was not newsworthy.

Cole was the wife of Hogan’s best friend ‘Bubba the Love Sponge’ when the three tapes were recorded back in 2007

After the embarrassment of having to admit to the courts and the world in general that he did not in fact have a 10 inch penis. Hulk Hogan, is set to spend all his winnings on surgery to give himself the pork sword of his dreams. Which he later defined as a 12 incher with 5 inch girth.

We at the Bastard think that at his age and the effect of steroids the odds are against that being possible. Then again he has shown himself to be a pretty big dick already.

There is an old joke that goes: God gave men a brain and a penis. But he only gave them enough blood to use one of them! So if he does get the pork sword of his dreams then will he pass out every time he gets a hard on?

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Author: Dr Suusi Watson

Editor of the Bastard

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