Cameron Retires to Pursue his Dream of being a Pig Poke!

Pigs head
Sex is like a pork Pie boring without some spice. David Cameron’s preferred sexual hors d’oeuvres is we are told a Pigs head! We shudder to think what the main course would be!

UK – Former Prime Minister and MP for Witney in Oxfordshire has announced that he is retiring from Parliament to pursue his dream of becoming the King of the Pig Pokes!

Unlike his spiritual mentor the gangster ‘Big’ Tony Blair who went off to pursue his dream of being the most bribed Prime minister in British history.

A new career that he has so far been spectacularly successful. As has his ability to keep one step ahead of the war crimes tribunal in the Hague.

Samantha Cameron we understand would like to up sticks to New York where she wants to pursue her delusions of becoming a fashion designer like Posh Spice.

We at the Bastard were unaware that Crack Whore was the kind of look that any self respecting person might want to wear. Still there is no accounting for taste and decency. Especially amongst the moneyed classes of the USA and UK.

And what of the good people of Witney in Oxfordshire? They are probably glad to see the back of him.

The Man who would be King did indeed achieve kingship. King Midas in reverse. He reached out to touch gold and turned it into shit!

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Author: Dr Suusi Watson

Editor of the Bastard

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