UK – in a rare leak from the Conservative party head office a copy of their 2020 General election manifesto has somehow made its way in to the British Heart Foundation charity shop in Hemel Hempstead.
The Book called “Family Britain 1951 – 1957″ written by David Kynaston shows the blueprint for the Conservatives plans for the United Kingdom after the general election.
We at the Bastard understand that its official launch will be accompanied by a rendition of Cher’s song, “If I could Turn Back Time“. Sung by Theresa May doing her best Cher impression.
The yet to be leaked plans for the privatisation of the remains of the country will also be accompanied by Esther McVey covering the Miley Cyrus song, “Wrecking Ball“.
We hope that there will be a plentiful supply of vomit bags at the press conference.
We also feel that it is appropriate that the conservative 2020 General Election Manifesto should be next to the former shah of Iran’s book, “Mission for My Country”. His commitment to democracy and civil rights is known to be such an inspiration for Britain’s conservatives.