England World Cup Jokes 2014


A 7 Year-Old Boy Was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him worse than his parents and he adimately refused to live with her. When the Judge suggested that he lived with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the rest of the family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the Judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to choose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with social workers, the Judge granted temporary custody to the England football team, whom the boy firmly believed are not capable of beating anyone.


England returned from the world cup expecting a hero’s welcome. Instead they were met by lawyer representing football fans, who served a writ on the team, alleging that hopes of a world cup win were sold under a fraudulent premise.

Cheer up it could be worse. We could be Wales!




Ronnie Biggs stayed in Brazil for 31 years. England will leave after 2 weeks. This generation doesn’t have the gritty resolve of yesteryear.


An England player couldn’t stick his hand in his pants and find a ball…


I’ve waited years for England to play like Spain… Now we are!


Roy Hodgson has set up a friendly match against Iceland to try and cheer fans up. If we beat them then we go on to play Tesco’s and then Sainsbury’s.


In 2012 Bookies stopped taking bets on England being eliminated in the first round. Paradoxically they are offering odds of 1000 to 1 for England to win any game.


Roy Hodgson insists he will not quit his job as England manager. It is hard to win, when fielding a team with players having 2 left feet a groin strain.


Billy Smart visited Roy Hodgson and the England team in Brazil. He looking for a new troupe of clowns…


Roy Hodgson and the England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today.

“It is heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope.” said Jose, age 6.


Suarez brings a whole new meaning to Sore Losers. Still Liverpool are stuck with him.


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