May Announces Don’t Care in the Community 2!

Theresa May – announcing her improvements to the mental health system in England and Wales. Scotland and Northern Ireland being seen as beyond the pale.

UK – Prime minister Theresa May has announced that the is going to do more to help the mentally ill. More to help ease the mentally ill into work and more for children with mental health issues.

To this end she has asked Jeremy Hunt to close all the residential mental hospitals and secure hospitals after transfer the Continue reading “May Announces Don’t Care in the Community 2!”

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Theresa May to Renew the Special Relationship!

Prime Minister Theresa May and President Elect Donald Trump

UK –  Once again we have a new US President and a Newish British Primeminister. Thoughts turn once again to that most cherished of political fictions. The so called ‘special relationship’ between the United States and the United Kingdom. Continue reading “Theresa May to Renew the Special Relationship!”

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Snoopers Charter: Theresa May is Watching You Masterbate!

Theresa May is watching You Masterbate!
Theresa May is watching You Masterbate!

UK – The most repressive surveillance law in europe has been passed into statute by the power mad conservatives.

The list of people who can trawl through your internet history is horrific. Many pages have been written about this piece of Starzi inspired legislation.

Even us at The Bastard have pointed out that all the most recent terrorists were well known to the security services. Vis they had the information but did not act on it. Treason or incompetence. It all depends on whether the crimes were allowed to happen. Continue reading “Snoopers Charter: Theresa May is Watching You Masterbate!”

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Daily Mail Banned as Worries about Fake News take Centre Stage!

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The Daily Mail headlines, Reminiscent of ‘Der Sturmer’ a A Nazi party tabloid from the 1930s

UK – Some good news for a change. Fleet street newspaper editors were stunned today when one of the few newspapers that are still profitable, the Daily Mail, was closed down and publication banned for publishing fake news.

It appears that publishers of the Daily Mail has fallen victim to the hysteria generated by Donald Trump’s US presidential election victory. Continue reading “Daily Mail Banned as Worries about Fake News take Centre Stage!”

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Tony Blair announces that He is the New Messiah, Returned to Save the Labour Party!

Tony Blair: The New Messiah!
Tony Blair: The New Messiah!

UK – It has been reported in the Sunday Times that the former Nu Labor™ Prime Minister Tony Blair has expressed a wish to return to politics, in order to save Mrs Thatcher’s legacy from the ravages of democrosy and the Labour party. Continue reading “Tony Blair announces that He is the New Messiah, Returned to Save the Labour Party!”

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DWP To hand out Digitas Vouchers to the Sick and Disabled!

dignitas-logo1
Dignitas – Dignity in Life, Dignity in Death.

UK – In another The Bastard exclusive our spies have discovered that the Daimion Green’s DWP is giving serious consideration to issuing free Dignitas vouchers to the sick and disabled. Continue reading “DWP To hand out Digitas Vouchers to the Sick and Disabled!”

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Birmingham Braced for Another Massive Crime Wave!

The ICC Birmingham host to this year's crime convention
The ICC Birmingham host to this year’s crime convention

UK – The day that the residents of Birmingham have been dreading has arrived. The conservative faithful have been gathering for their annual mug a big city and mutual masturbation conference which is being held at the ICC Birmingham. Continue reading “Birmingham Braced for Another Massive Crime Wave!”

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2020 Conservative Election Manifesto spotted in Hemel Hempstead Charity Shop

The Conservative 2020 Election Manifesto
The Conservative 2020 Election Manifesto

UK – in a rare leak from the Conservative party head office a copy of their 2020 General election manifesto has somehow made its way in to the British Heart Foundation charity shop in Hemel Hempstead.

The Book called “Family Britain 1951 – 1957″ written by David Kynaston shows the blueprint for the Conservatives plans for the United Kingdom after the general election. Continue reading “2020 Conservative Election Manifesto spotted in Hemel Hempstead Charity Shop”

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Fluffy Bunnies and Fox Hunting, Blood Sports are Back!

The Alien tries to kiss Ripley.
Nigel Farage tries to kiss Diane James.

UK – The Party Conference season is on us again. The Greens kicked it off with theirs at the University of Birmingham on the second of September. An event of such momentous magnitude that no one actually noticed it was happening. Continue reading “Fluffy Bunnies and Fox Hunting, Blood Sports are Back!”

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Cameron Retires to Pursue his Dream of being a Pig Poke!

Pigs head
Sex is like a pork Pie boring without some spice. David Cameron’s preferred sexual hors d’oeuvres is we are told a Pigs head! We shudder to think what the main course would be!

UK – Former Prime Minister and MP for Witney in Oxfordshire has announced that he is retiring from Parliament to pursue his dream of becoming the King of the Pig Pokes!

Unlike his spiritual mentor the gangster ‘Big’ Tony Blair who went off to pursue his dream of being the most bribed Prime Continue reading “Cameron Retires to Pursue his Dream of being a Pig Poke!”

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