Book claims that dead wealthy hedonist used Coke

19UK – The world was astounded to hear that the former founder of the NHS Princess “100 a day” Margaret liked the odd sprinkle of Coke and a bit of puff.

While the Queen strongly denies that her sister ever took illegal drugs, honestly, who cares what the royals do?

They can afford the best, so why not just let them?

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UK Govt uses foxes to bury Byers Scandal

A fox hunt
A fox hunt

UK – The British Govt has announced that there will be another free vote on the banning on hunting with dogs shortly.

An unnamed contact within the cabinet has said that this is NOT an attempt to cover up the spate of scandals associated with New  Continue reading “UK Govt uses foxes to bury Byers Scandal”

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Huge winds buffet the UK


windy-hair[1]UK –
Huge winds are said to have buffeted the UK during the first week of February.

The population are thought to be bearing up well, on the whole.

However the effect on people’s hair has been said to be catastrophic.

There have even been reports of fighting in the streets for position in the queue outside hairdressers premises in the stockbroker belt. The nation’s hairdressers are looking forward to a windfall.

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Bunkum Smith attacked for trying to score cheap points on the NHS

Ian Bunkum Smith
Ian Bunkum Smith

UK – The Prince of Hell Ian Bunkum Smith has been slated by both the Prime Minister and by some hospital after he tried to gain cheap political capital by slating aforementioned hospital.

IBS had attempted to draw attention to the fact that some lady constituent had had Continue reading “Bunkum Smith attacked for trying to score cheap points on the NHS”

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Delay to trains in Norf London – not my fault, says Byers

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Stephen Byers: Me Gov? I haven’t a clue

UK – The beleaguered transport secretary Stev-o Byers hinted that a fire at a warehouse near Ali Pali that resulted in the cancellation of most of the West Anglia line trains today was nothing to do with him. The shadow secretary for transport, a guy that nobody knows the name Continue reading “Delay to trains in Norf London – not my fault, says Byers”

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Government announces adoption plans for sinners – read as

adoption1[1]UK – In a fine example of offering lots and doing nothing (New Left – it’s the real thing) Government ministers are set to put the smile to legalisation of adoption by unmarried couples.

This rather pointless change in the law means that couple who are unmarried can adopt provided Continue reading “Government announces adoption plans for sinners – read as”

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Groundbreaking software to be re-released

Groundbreaking software to be re-released
Groundbreaking software to be re-released

UK – The piece of software that is used in the preparation of The Bastard is set to be re-released shortly for use on Unix computers. A spokes geek on behalf of the publishers, Somniferum Happy IT Oy, said that a re-release was necessary because the majority of their clients were to mean to buy Continue reading “Groundbreaking software to be re-released”

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Teachers to get pay-rise

Revolting Teachers!
Revolting Teachers!

UK – Teachers in the UK are set to get a pay rise of a wapping (same as wopping but on a Cell Phone) 3%. It may not sound much, but it is vastly more than the sadistic evil scumbags. After all, they say that if you can remember a good teacher it is because they are so fucking rare – teaching is an industry that attracts sadists and hitler’s like Continue reading “Teachers to get pay-rise”

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