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England World Cup Jokes

Fabio Capello has set up a friendly match against Iceland to try and cheer fans up. If we beat them then we go on to play Tesco's and then Sainsbury's.

You give £2-00 a month to feed the

One of lifes great mysterys is

One of lifes great mysterys is why is it that a woman can fit a seven inch cock into a her half inch fanny IN THE DARK...

But she is unable to fit a fifteen foot car into a twenty five

Chav Gags

How do you start an argument with a chav?
Speak!

What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?
The burglar.

What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

[b]What

Drowning man

I saw a Pakistani man drowning the other day and instantly contacted the emergency services.

I do hope that they find him or it would have been a complete waste of a stamp

Dressed to Kill

Went out to a night club last night, and I gotta say I was dressed to kill! Beard, Sandals, Turban, Backpack...

Tattoo

Paddy's girl friend has a tattoo of a sea shell at the top of her inner thigh. Paddy thinks its fecking amazing coz if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!

Dog on a Bike..?

A bloke just knocked on my door and said, "Your dog has just chased after some woman on a push bike..?"

I said, "Fuck off, My dog hasn't got a bike..!"

Essex School Girl

An Essex School Girl says, "Mummy, I know where babies come from!"

The Mum replies' "Where's that then sweetie?"

The girl says, "Mummy and Daddy take their clothes off and daddy's thingy sort of sticks

Tsunami News

Beach bar owners in Samoa have said that business has been slow since the tsunami but now regulars are starting to drift back in.

Stephen Gately Gags

As Stephen Gately's coffin was being lowered into the ground, his family said it was the cleanest hole he has been into in years.

A Boyzone spokesman denied Stephen Gately will be cremated in a foil

Foreplay	10/10/2009 15:06
Hotel Hi jinks	10/10/2009 15:03
Five words that women use:	20/08/2009 05:07
Star Trek	20/08/2009 04:56
More Jacko Jokes	27/06/2009 09:06
Wacco Jacco's Dead	26/06/2009 10:49
Missing Body Parts	15/04/2009 17:15
Birthday Gift	15/04/2009 17:14
The Best of Friends	15/04/2009 02:08
Tee Shirt	15/04/2009 02:05

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