Charles ‘Chuck’ Kennedy to be wed

UK – 4The Leader of the Liberal Democrats, Mr Charles Kennedy, has announced that he has managed to persuade someone to marry him.

His bird, who no-one can remember the name of, is said to be ‘not interested in politics’.

The two met at a joint-smoking session at some hippy festival last year. His fiancee is said to find his ex-military career extremely alluring

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IBS rips off illegal Blair Babe trick

1Arch prince of hell and leader of the ‘Conservative Party’, Ian Bunkum Smith has announced that ‘only women can save the Conservative Party’. By this piece of nonsense, intended as a means of attracting voters without actually having to so anything, he means of course that women should be encouraged to stand for safe Tory seats. IBS was keen to explain that he did not mean that women are to stupid or pathetic to take and hold unsafe Tory seats.
A leading tory backbencher who prefers not to be named* said that the thought of their being more nubile young women at the tory party conference made him feel very happy. IBS himself refuted accusations that the ‘Widdecombe babes’ were not going to be mere automatons modelled after the Labour Party’s infamous babe-bevy, but would be more like the successful independent women of today, ie lapdancers.

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