C of E in Moral Panic Meltdown!

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Conservative christians reveling in the misery that they have inflicted on the poor sick and disabled.
UK – The recent suicide bombing of Gideon Osborne by the Prince of Darkness Iain Dummkopf Schmitt has brought a rare moment of clarity to the members of the Church of England.

Now the Church of England is Continue reading “C of E in Moral Panic Meltdown!”

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In Pakistan Terrorism is just Politics!

Many of the bomb victims were children at a funfair in the Gulshan-i-Iqbal park Lahore
Many of the bomb victims were children at a funfair in the Gulshan-i-Iqbal park Lahore

Pakistan – Once again terrorists in have have created the headlines in Pakistan. This time some of the victims are Christian women and children in a public park in Lahore.

Once again the headlines are predictable and the same old Continue reading “In Pakistan Terrorism is just Politics!”

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God Humiliates Al Saud a Second Time in Two Weeks!

The aftermath of the stampede and crush at the 2015 hajj
The aftermath of the stampede and crush at the 2015 hajj

Saudi Arabia – Coming hot on the heels of the tower crane disaster two weeks ago, when a tower crane fell on the the Grand Mosque in Mecca. Killing 118 people and injuring 394.

God has signaled his continued displeasure at al Saud by at killing least 717 and injuring some 850 in a stampede in central Mina. Though there are also reports that the final death toll may well rise up to 1500. Continue reading “God Humiliates Al Saud a Second Time in Two Weeks!”

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Much Loved Vicar Found Hanged from Bell Ropes!

Much Thrashing on the Marsh church
Much Thrashing on the Marsh church

UK – Tragic news just in. The Reverend Godfrey Well-beloved, 63, the appropriately named and much loved vicar of St Judas the Beloved of Christ, in the picturesque Cotswold village of Much Thrashing on the Marsh, has been found hanged by the neck from one of the bell pulls. The Reverend has been vicar of St Judas’s for the last 30 years.

Many of the parishioners are distraught. with some wandering around in shock, with tears running down their faces. Some are even asking why such a well loved vicar could do something so awful? Continue reading “Much Loved Vicar Found Hanged from Bell Ropes!”

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85% of US children believe that The Flintstones is real!

History for Republican Children
History for Republican Children

USA – Every so often we at The Bastard commissions a survey to assess the public mood just for the hell of it. Not just in the UK.

We keep getting worrying reports that our cosines across the pond have some really strange ideas. When we heard that a majority of Americans think that dinosaurs roamed the earth together with man a mere 4000 years ago. We had to see if it was true. Continue reading “85% of US children believe that The Flintstones is real!”

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Stuff Fox News and It’s Bigotry

3176A video has surfaced of US presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee addressing the National Religious Broadcasters Convention; where he joked that he wished he could have been transgender when it came to hitting the showers after PE at Continue reading “Stuff Fox News and It’s Bigotry”

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David Cameron: Jesus was an Lazy Workless Bum and a Scrounger!

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Suggested bedtime reading for David Cameron

UK – Todays story is rather touching. When little Sophie Cameron, ages 6 and no relation, heard David Cameron on TV saying that Jesus had invented the big society. She decided to read her childrens bible and find out about this Jesus fellow and exactly what a big society was.

Some time later she came down from her room and asked her mum if it was Wonga.com that Jesus had thrown out of the temple. She also asked if David Cameron was going to close down Wonga like his hero Jesus did. Continue reading “David Cameron: Jesus was an Lazy Workless Bum and a Scrounger!”

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Religious Conservatives demand Tissues Tax

Lord Carey after a vigorous debate about onanism.
Lord Carey after a vigorous debate about onanism.

UK – Religious conservatives still smarting from recent setbacks in the C of E Synod after having lost the war on women bishops. After a secret conference at the home of Bishop George Carey, the former the Archbishop of Canterbury. They have have struck back with a demand that in the interests of moral health of Continue reading “Religious Conservatives demand Tissues Tax”

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Michael Gove to Replace Science with RE in the National Curriculum

Michael Gove reaching for our reporters flies during our interview.
Michael Gove reaching for our reporters flies during our interview.

UK – Conservative education minister Michael Gove is to announce further changes to the national curriculum this week. Out goes Physics, Chemistry and Biology to be replaced Biblical science.

The news comes out from comments made to a reporter for Continue reading “Michael Gove to Replace Science with RE in the National Curriculum”

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Ariel Sharon finally admits that he is Dead!

This cartoon should be Ariel Sharon's epitaph.
This cartoon should be Ariel Sharon’s epitaph.

Israeli Apartheid state – The long running dispute between Jehovah and Satan over what to do with Ariel Sharon has finally been resolved. As a result he has been formally allowed to shuffle off this mortal coil after eight years of living death, whilst in a coma.

The final deal was brokered by Continue reading “Ariel Sharon finally admits that he is Dead!”

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