ED Miliband finds his missing testicles!

3001UK – In a big political surprise Blue Labor™ leader Ed Miliband had a good rummage in his underpants and discovered that he really did have some testicles after all.

It was widely believed in the Westminster village that Ed Continue reading “ED Miliband finds his missing testicles!”

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The Two Ed’s invited to join the Conservative Monday Club

The Two Ed's invited to join the Conservative Monday Club
The Two Ed’s invited to join the Conservative Monday Club

UK – In a shock development we at the Bastard have discovered that the two Ed’s New Labor™ Ed Miliband and Ed Balls have been invited to join the extreme right wing conservative think tank the Monday Club.

The two Ed’s are not the first members of New Labor™ to have joined the secretive Monday Club. Continue reading “The Two Ed’s invited to join the Conservative Monday Club”

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If the Conservatives really want to win the next election…

Leader of the Opposition David Cameron
Leader of the Opposition David Cameron

UK – The United Kingdom is heading into a general election. The ruling Nu Labor™ party has been in power so long that it has alienated its supporters, presided over record levels of corruption and bankrupted the country with record levels of both spending and debt. Continue reading “If the Conservatives really want to win the next election…”

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Yet more MP’s on the Take

Stephen Byers, Patricia Hewitt, Geoff Hoon taking corruption to the Tony Blair level.
Stephen Byers, Patricia Hewitt, Geoff Hoon taking corruption to the Tony Blair level.

UK – So channel 4’s dispatches program has caught three Nu Labor™ ex ministers, Stephen Byers, Patricia Hewitt and Geoff Hoon in a sting operation. The ex ministers were eagerness to help an American lobbying firm in return for cash.

Even boasting that they had Continue reading “Yet more MP’s on the Take”

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BNP’s Griffin turns down Dunkitt’s job

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Nick Griffin of the BNP

UK – In a correction to our report on December the 14, Mr Nick Griffin was not arrested by the police.

He was in fact escorted to Downing street for a meeting with President ‘Big’ Tony who offered Griffin Dunkitt’s job at the home Continue reading “BNP’s Griffin turns down Dunkitt’s job”

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Dunkitt falls on his pork sword

Imagine having this as your father
David Blunkett

UK – Big Tony’s government was left staggering months from a general election last night after the president’s hard shagging ally, David Dunkitt, resigned as home secretary.

Dunkitt had to fall on his sword only after Continue reading “Dunkitt falls on his pork sword”

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Stress at work rises hugely

Stressed out
Stressed out

UK – The level of stress under has undergone a huge 12-fold rise, according to figures released by the TUC.

The TUC have suggested that life is not more stressful under the New Labour, but that good honest working folk feel safer ‘fessing up to stress under the Continue reading “Stress at work rises hugely”

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Bunkum Smith attacked for trying to score cheap points on the NHS

Ian Bunkum Smith
Ian Bunkum Smith

UK – The Prince of Hell Ian Bunkum Smith has been slated by both the Prime Minister and by some hospital after he tried to gain cheap political capital by slating aforementioned hospital.

IBS had attempted to draw attention to the fact that some lady constituent had had Continue reading “Bunkum Smith attacked for trying to score cheap points on the NHS”

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Blair: Bin Laden is a muthafukker, and so are his mates

al Qaida leader  Osama Bin Laden speaks to a selected group of reporters in mountains of Helmand province in southern Afghanistan Thursday, Dec. 24, 1998.  The man accused of masterminding the bombings of U.S. embassies in Africa says the U.S.-British airstrikes on Iraq make it a ``duty of Muslims to confront, fight and kill'' Americans and Britons.
al Qaida leader Osama Bin Laden in southern Afghanistan.

UK – Responding to allegations that Bush was treating the Arabic bounders unfairly which have appeared in numerous newspapers and media (including this one), the British President Tony Blair replied that Osama Bin Laden was a complete muthafukka, and so were all of his mates. The scoundrels Continue reading “Blair: Bin Laden is a muthafukker, and so are his mates”

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IBS rips off illegal Blair Babe trick

1Arch prince of hell and leader of the ‘Conservative Party’, Ian Bunkum Smith has announced that ‘only women can save the Conservative Party’. By this piece of nonsense, intended as a means of attracting voters without actually having to so anything, he means of course that women should be encouraged to stand for safe Tory seats. IBS was keen to explain that he did not mean that women are to stupid or pathetic to take and hold unsafe Tory seats.
A leading tory backbencher who prefers not to be named* said that the thought of their being more nubile young women at the tory party conference made him feel very happy. IBS himself refuted accusations that the ‘Widdecombe babes’ were not going to be mere automatons modelled after the Labour Party’s infamous babe-bevy, but would be more like the successful independent women of today, ie lapdancers.

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